Whether we realize it or not, we are all exposed to some degree of social conditioning throughout our lives. Social conditioning typically begins at a young age when our parents, guardians, and educators teach us how to behave at home and in public. The guidance we receive is intended to align our behaviors with social norms, which are accepted standards for our behavior, beliefs, and attitude. Social norms can apply to any culture, family group, organization, or social status where individuals are expected to behave in a certain way regardless of their personal preference.
As we grow up, social expectations often play a greater role in shaping our individuality than we think. As technology and social media continue to place more pressure on how we should look, act and behave to earn acceptance from others, this role will likely increase. The more we understand how social norms impact us, the more we can learn to challenge the ones that don’t align with our goals.
The power of social norms
While we may think we’re in full control of our own decisions, our actions are often subconsciously affected by social conditioning. Brain imaging studies have shown that decisions influenced by social norms often take precedence over what we perceive as right or wrong, suggesting that intuition is often overruled by the need to conform.
While many social norms are harmless impositions that exist to improve our general safety and wellbeing, some can harm our sense of welfare and community. Psychology Today discusses how social norms are typically put in place to ensure everyone obeys laws, doesn’t harm one another, and positively contributes to society. Other social norms, like gender roles, can be harmful expectations adopted over time that don’t serve any tangible purpose for the betterment of society in today’s world.
When individuals of a certain sex, race, or culture are expected to do something simply because “that’s just the way it’s always been done,” they often experience cognitive dissonance that leads to anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. Whether we are pressured into an occupation, marriage, family dynamic, religion, political affiliation, or lifestyle we don’t want, opposing these informal rules are often considered cultural taboos that make it more challenging to forge our own path and find purpose.
Finding purpose against all odds
Along with its countless health benefits, a strong sense of purpose is a guiding force that can inspire and motivate us to live our best life. Yet if our purpose conflicts with society’s social norms, we often experience feelings of anxiety, depression, and low motivation. When challenging the status quo, it’s helpful to consider that social norms are only sustained when they are reinforced by our own beliefs. By believing that certain behaviors are normal simply because others believe in them, we stay locked in a pattern of fearing disapproval from that group of people known as a reference network.
As motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins always says, “if you’re not growing, you’re dying.” Change and growth are essential to continue living a long, purposeful life, so don’t let unhelpful social norms hinder your growth. If you are struggling to find your purpose amidst challenging social norms, challenge yourself to look within to discover what brings you joy and fulfillment, determine what you need to live an authentically purposeful life, and find a supportive social circle that supports you. If you are interested in learning more, know that Arctos360 is on standby waiting to help you.